Pop your collar and get ready to fist pump!
This article is a guest post written by Braxton Herring. Braxton is an avid automobile enthusiast and is currently employed in the wheel and tire industry. MotoringExposure does not endorse the opinions expressed in this article.
We all love douchebags, don’t we? Although there are many different breeds of douchebags that range from the blowout-wearing self-proclaimed “Guido Gorilla Juiceheads” to the preppy, arrogant pricks with popped collars, all of them are universally despised due to their attitude, irritating use of slang, and cornea-burning fashion sense.
Disclaimer: The following is a list in no particular order of high-end cars that are popular amongst douchebags. Owning one of these does not automatically make you a douchebag.
Lamborghini Gallardo
[Photo Credit: TopSpeed]
If there was ever a car that was the typical entry-level douchebag supercar, this is it. While the Gallardo is a very respectable car in terms of sales, performance, and engineering, it is the go-to supercar for douchebags that have “made it” and want to show off their money by buying a “Lambo”. Still don’t get the “Lambo” doors, brah.
Range Rover
[Photo Credit: Miss-Swiss]
I didn’t want to limit this list to the male douchebag, so I had to have a car or two to represents the female-version, and the Range Rover does it best. Whether its stuck in LA traffic or almost hitting you because the oblivious driver is too busy texting, the Range Rover is the perfect car for stuck up, snobby, douchebag women everywhere. By the way, Kim Kardashian found a way to fit her butt into one, and owns a 2010 HSE. You know that will never see any dirt!
Bentley Continental
[Photo Credit: iGossip]
Mike “The Situation” from MTV’s Jersey Shore owns A Bentley Continental. That should pretty much sum it up, but female douchebags such as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian each own one as well. It’s a shame that these three own a Bentley Continental because it partially ruins the reputation of good brand. The Bentley Continental is also quickly becoming the typical entry-level ultra-luxury car amongst new money douchebags.
Toyota Prius
[Photo Credit: TheSmugAlert]
This may be a list for ‘high-end’ cars that douchebags drive, but Prius drivers are a different breed. People that have the ability to own a high-end car will sometimes choose to drive a Prius to set an example for the rest of us. Prius owners can oftentimes be labeled as the “green” douchebag, and are known for traveling slow in the left lane, constant braking, driving under the speed limit, and using special “Hybrid Only” parking sports. Prius drivers are also known for expressing their opinions through the use of bumper stickers as seen above.
BMW 6 Series (E63/64)
[Photo Source: Hype Beast]
Most of the BMW 6 Series that you see today weren’t bought for their styling, rather that big blue and white “BMW” badge on the front. Bro, that ‘Bangle Butt’ is only one step above the stereotypical drug-dealer’s 7 Series. Oftentimes, the E63/64 BMW 6 Series can be spotted with a plastic blonde wife or girlfriend in the passenger seat.
Mercedes-Benz CLS (W 219)
[Photo Credit: CarStalker]
The Mercedes-Benz CLS (W 219) was a car that broke barriers and single-handedly created the four-door coupe segment. It has a timeless design, superb performance, and most likely, a douchebag behind the wheel. Due to the car’s falling prices in the used car markets, douchebags flock to these symbols of personal wealth. They are most commonly seen sporting a cheesy pair of black wheels with matching black exterior paint to achieve the “murdered out” look.
Cadillac Escalade
[Photo Credit JerseyShoreLeak]
The Cadillac Escalade has been featured in numerous rap videos and was the preferred transportation for the cast of the Jersey Shore. Enough said, right? No. It has just enough glitz, chrome, and shiny stuff to draw attention to any douchebag. Plus, it’s a Cadillac, which means it is “Baller”. It is not uncommon to see an Escalade with a driver behind the wheel that, according to them, owns the road.
Hummer H2/H3
[Photo Credit: LACantDrive]
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that one of the worst SUVs ever made by General Motors makes this list. Nothing says “Bro” like “Hummer”, especially when your plastic dashboard trim is falling off while you’re broken down on the side of the road. Hummers are a favorite of club promoters and limo companies that are in dire need of attention. Yes, we’re all looking at your shining example of poor build quality and cost-cutting. Ride on Bro, ride on.
Audi S4
[Photo Credit: Audi]
If you’re a fan of Top Gear, you’ll understand that the Audi S4 is on here because “Audi drivers are c*cks.” Great job guys, you have successfully stolen that designation away from BMW drivers and are ruining the reputation of a brand. Yes, the S4 is more powerful and fun to drive than the A4, but it still doesn’t compare to other performance sedans on the market so stop trying to race everyone. Oh, and you’re not “Mad Euro”, bro.
Infiniti G35/37
[Photo Credit: CarDomain]
The Infiniti G was developed to compete with the likes of the BMW 3 Series, Audi A4, Lexus IS, and other entry-level luxury cars. Well, it was successful in stealing away many of the douchebags from the likes of BMW, Audi, and Lexus. The G35/37 is a favorite amongst the “Guido Juicehead” crowd and the preppy, popped collar douchebags. Infiniti has come a long way with the G, but it really needs to drop the hair gel and spray tan buyers ASAP. Please stop trying to race everyone else on the road too.
What are some vehicles that you would label as “Douchebag” cars? Leave a comment and let us know!
